過去・現在の受験への考えの変化|高1リュウとメガりゅうの対談

回想録|高1のリュウくんが20歳メガりゅうくんに会いに行く

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

どうも!高校一年生のリュウです!
今日はフィクション小説を書きます!20歳の自分に会いに行ったらどうなるか?ってことで、会いに行きたいと思います!
20歳ってことはきっと東大駒場で二年生をやっているでしょうね!一体どの科類に入学したのだろうか楽しみです。『ドラゴン桜』に憧れて東大を目指したから、理科一類かなあ。
では、さっそく見ていきましょう!レッツゴー!!

2020年1月

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

へぇ~!この時代にもTwitterはあるのか~!!そしてこれが将来の自分か!!「メガりゅうくん」??メガってどういう意味なんだろう…。

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

どうも!こんにちは☆メガりゅうです!!
「メガ」はメガシンカの意味だ!残念ながら今作で廃止されてしまったのだが…。

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

えっ!マジっすか!?ガルーラはおしまいですね!

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

おっと…。あまり関係のない話をするとSEO上問題だ…。

20歳で東大に入っていないの!?

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

未来の自分は20歳!東大の何類に入学したのですか?

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

残念だが、まだ東大には入学していない。出願を忘れてしまってな…。

どうして出願をしなかったの!?
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

今思うと、過去の自分に本当に申し訳ない。自分史(高校生編)を執筆していて思うのだが、高校時代の自分は輝いていた。将来に希望と不安を持ち、恋愛よりも受験を優先し勉強していた。

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

その代わり、慶應経済に入学して楽しくやってるよ。

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

そ、そんな!そんなのイヤですよ!!
東大に入学しないと幸せになれないじゃないですか!

東大に入らないと幸せになれない!?

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

確かに、高校時代の私は、そのように考えていた。東大に入れないなら生きている価値はない、と。
確かに、東大には入れなかったが、受験を通じて友達はたくさんできた。SNSでの影響力は十分にあり、自由に意見発信できる。こうしてブログを書いているだけで収入がもらえる。

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

東大に入らないでインターネット上で意見発信するなんて、みっともない!恥さらしですよ!!
東大に受かってからやればいいじゃないですか!

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

過去の私はそう考えていた。東大に受かるまでは受験に専念し、受かったら勉強を放棄して思いっきり遊ぶ、と。
しかし、失われた時間は帰ってこない。過去を振り返ると「もっと遊んでおけばよかった」と後悔することもある。
だから私は決めた。受験勉強は重要だが、そればかりにとらわれずに色々なことに挑戦していこう、と。

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

そんな…。

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

東大なんて、いつでも行ける。私には十分な学力は備わっている。別に22歳になったら入学してもいいし、25歳でも、30歳でも、好きな年齢で入学すればいい。

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

そりゃ、何浪してでも東大に行くという考えがありますからね。

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

そうだ。それでいい。なにも現役合格にこだわる必要はない。
好きな年齢で大学に通えるように、今はお金を貯めているのだ。こんな幸せな生活はないだろう。

東大へ行きたいという気持ちは、今はもうほとんどない。でも、過去の自分のために、私は東大を受け続けるのだ。

過去の自分への申し訳なさ

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

過去の自分は、かっこよかった。受験に真剣に取り組み、日本を主導する人間になりたいと願っていた。

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

高校一年生の時の将来の夢は、
①東大を卒業する
②外務省にキャリア組で入省する
③キャリア経験を積んだのち、国会議員に立候補する
④当選回数を重ね外務大臣に抜擢される
でしたからね。

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

そうだ。当時は、自分の生活よりも、国家に身をささげて仕事に取り組みたいと願っていた。
尖閣諸島沖漁船衝突事件(民主党・カン政権)を見て、日本の「弱腰外交」を残念に思った。
高校生が感じる、政府への不満が東大受験を助長していた。

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

今は外務省に入りたいと思ってないのですか?

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

全く思っていない。外務省に入れたからといって、自由に外交ができるわけではない。ただのロボットになってしまう。
だったら、YouTubeやブログで自分の意見を発信し、多くの人に読んでもらえるようにしたほうがいい。

高校生・龍成
高校生・龍成

人の考えは変わるものですね。

メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)
メガりゅう(慶應のすがた)

「東大至上主義」思想を持っていた過去の自分と、いろいろなことに挑戦していこうとする現在の自分、考え方は異なるが昔の「東大至上主義時代」があったからこそ、今の自分がある。どっちのころの考えが正しいかは分からない。過去に戻りたいと思うときは頻繁にある。

過去の自分に言いたい。ごめん。こんな堕落しちゃって。
東大には合格できなかった。だが、過去の自分が勉強した内容は、今の生活にとても役立っている。
高校時代の自分は、将来に悩むことが多かった。
今みたいに自分に自信はなかった。
難関高校に通う他人が優れていると羨ましく感じていた。
悲しくて泣くこともあった。
もしも本当に過去の自分に会って話ができるのであれば、言ってあげたい。
今のままでいいんだよ。その努力は、あとで報われるから、と。

2 thoughts on “過去・現在の受験への考えの変化|高1リュウとメガりゅうの対談”

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